


Moments that the Words Don't Reach

by justswimdown



Series: Working Through the Unimaginable [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander Hamilton-centric, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Discussion of Sexual Harassment, Getting Back Together, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, Infidelity, Kinda, M/M, So much angst, this was supposed to be a stand alone fic but here we are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27217453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justswimdown/pseuds/justswimdown
Summary: The silence seemed to stretch into hours until John finally let out a deep breath. “You really have fucked up this time, haven’t you Alex?”A look at the two months that Alex waits for Thomas to come home in my previous fic 'Would That Be Enough'
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton & Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton & Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, Alexander Hamilton & John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler (past), Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens (past), Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson
Series: Working Through the Unimaginable [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987069
Comments: 12
Kudos: 35





	Moments that the Words Don't Reach

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't intend to write a follow up to my previous fic but then I kept thinking about what Hamilton would have got up to during those two months and I couldn't resist it. It also took much longer to write this one and I put a lot of effort into it so plz leave a comment to let me know what you think!
> 
> Just as the last one was Jefferson centric, this one is Hamilton centric so we see much more of his perspective
> 
> Hope you enjoy!!

Alex let out a shuddering breath as he stared at the door that had just slammed closed. 

He clenched his shaking hands tight and forced himself to stay where he stood as he heard Thomas’ car start outside, to not run to the window and watch as it disappeared down the street.

He would be back.

He said he would be back.

Thomas reversing out of the driveway and driving down the street wouldn’t be the last that Alex saw of him because Thomas said he would come back.

This was what he told himself in a mantra so, why then, did he slide down the hallway wall next to the kitchen heaving great sobs as though the foundation of the life he had built had just given way?

When he was finally able to breathe at a somewhat normal rate, he got out his phone and typed out what had been a deafening thought in his mind ever since Alex had seen the look on Thomas’ face when he arrived home.

_‘I fucked up’_

It wasn’t too much later that he and John were sat at the bar stools in the kitchen, with John clearly trying to figure out what approach to take in the face of this situation.

Alex had barely moved from his spot on the floor before he finally pulled himself off of the floor to answer the knock at the door. John’s face had been one of alarm as he took in the state that he was in, but that quickly turned into one of anger.

“What did Jefferson do? And you can tell me where he is while you’re at it so I can pay that bastard a visit.”

This had just made the tears in Alex’s eyes swell up once more as he shook his head frantically. 

“No- it wasn’t him, I-” he broke himself off with another sob and John looked truly confused now but nonetheless drew him into a hug where they stood on the doorstep. After a few moments of letting Alex cry into his chest as he rubbed his back, John pulled them both into the kitchen where he forced Alex to sit and drink a glass of water.

“You’ve clearly been crying for a while. You can tell me what’s happened once you’ve finished that.” His voice left no room for protest.

Alex kept his gaze to the floor as he finally explained what he had done, what Thomas had walked in on and how Thomas had left only an hour or so after, despite having been away for two weeks already. When he looked back up John’s expression was one of disbelief and resignation. He was obviously at a loss of what to say.

The silence seemed to stretch into hours until John finally let out a deep breath. “You really have fucked up this time, haven’t you Alex?”

Alex let out a short laugh that was half another sob. He wiped his face again and fiddled with the empty glass on the counter.

“Where did Jefferson go? Did he say when he would be back?”

This was why Alex had called John. He knew that John would trust that Alexander already knew that it was all his own fault, that he was the one to blame. At that moment, what Alexander needed was someone to lean on. Alex would save the chastisement that he knew he deserved for another day. 

Right now he just needed someone to help him breathe again.

He shook his head and shrugged. “Back to Monticello, I assume. He didn’t say when he’d be back.” _‘If he is coming be back’_ , the voice in his head unhelpfully chimed in.

“Well,” John stood up. “That’s a long drive. Should give him enough time to calm down before you call him in the morning.”

“I can’t do that,” Alex choked out.

“Alex,” John brushed his dark hair out of his face and tucked it behind his ear and Alex leaned into the touch. “You need to face this. Sooner rather than later.”

“Is there any point?” he said without planning to. “I’ve blown things up, just like I always do. I’ve ruined another good thing in my life, like I did with you, like I did with Eliza-”

“Hey, now.” John interrupted as he lifted Alex’s chin up with his knuckle. “I thought you’d quit this self-deprecating talk.” Alex swallowed. He had while Thomas was here. Now look at him, Thomas had barely been gone a couple of hours and he was already falling apart without him. “Besides, it was the both of us who decided not to pursue a relationship, mutually I might add. You might have been a good lay but even you couldn’t have made me settle down in college.”

Alex snorted and John looked at him, a twinkle in his eye.

“And you and Eliza… you guys just drifted. It happens, you can’t blame yourself for that. You both ended up happy after you both finally admitted it and called it quits.”

“We drifted because of me,” Alex insisted, bitterly. “I spent too much time working.”

“And she didn’t like it in DC, as I recall. She wanted to be back in New York the entirety of Washington’s first term. You both had reasons for why you were unhappy in that relationship. Anyway you’re both still close even if it didn’t work out between you. You haven’t managed to get rid of me yet, either,” John said, bumping his shoulder against Alex’s.

Alex let a small smile onto his face until it fell. But had he managed to get rid of Thomas?

As if he could read his mind, and he might as well be able to, John continued, “There’s no point despairing about Jefferson right now either. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve fucked up big time, but you can’t assume it’s over until you’ve talked about it.” 

Alex bit his lip. He knew that John was right. He knew that they would have to talk about it. But what could he say? He had no excuse. He had been lonely and slightly annoyed that Thomas had left him in New York although he knew that he was the one who had been stubborn, stressed out of his mind from all the extra work at the law firm, and, yes, still holding a slight grudge over the immigration law that Thomas had supported.

But none of that was a good excuse. He didn’t have a good reason to explain why, when Maria had knocked on his office door and asked for his help with something, he had been all too happy to agree when she suggested that they finish their work at his and Thomas’ place.

His and Thomas’ place. Christ.

He made a mental note to buy new sheets before - _if_ \- Thomas came home and the thought made him feel sickened with himself. For all of his words, he couldn’t think of a single thing to say that would make up for what he had done.

John had stayed without Alex needing to ask. He put something mindless on the TV and tugged Alex into his side until he fell asleep. The next morning, after some prodding from John, he phoned Lafayette who promptly joined them in order to give the chastisement that Alex knew he needed, and deserved to hear, and which he trusted Laf to give him.

“Oh, Alexander,” he had said when Alex finished filling him in. As a friend to Thomas independently of Alexander, he did not expect to get off easy. “For someone so smart, you really are an idiot.”

John made himself scarce for the reprimanding that followed, which regularly switched between English and French, to make himself busy in the kitchen to make them all coffee. By the time he returned to the living room with their mugs, Lafayette had taken a deep breath and pulled himself to his full height.

“You must call him, mon amie,” he said to where Alex now wore a defeated expression and sat slumped.

“See? That’s what I said!” John interjected, passing him a mug which seemed to somewhat snap Alex out of his daze.

“I can’t,” he said in a low voice. Laf and John exchanged a look. “I _can’t_.” 

John gave Laf a shrug from where he stood behind the sofa which made him let out a low sigh and sit gently next to Alex.

“Okay. Here is what we shall do. You are going to have a shower and get dressed and then we will all go out for brunch. Non-” he said when Alex tried to protest. “This is non-negotiable, Alexander. You do not have to pretend that everything is normal but you are not spending all day in this house.”

This was how Alex ended up sitting with Laf and John at their favourite place to eat, on the somewhat rare occasion that all three of them were free, and feeling as though the situation was too bizarrely normal to match with his racing mind.

He didn’t manage to contribute to the conversation much, an unusual silence that made the concerned but not surprised glances that they both sent his way every now and then hard to miss, but whenever he was able to pull himself out of his thoughts and stop gazing unseeingly out of the window, their chatter was there to ground him.

When they were satisfied, hours later, that Alex had eaten as much as he would, he had turned to John and sheepishly asked if he could spend the night at his apartment, unable to face the empty house just yet. John had unquestioningly agreed.

Alex didn’t think he had ever been so thankful to have them both, but he knew that he didn’t have to say so. They would not indulge his self-pity or find ways to relieve him of guilt, and he would expect nothing less of them, but they were there to stop him from drowning nonetheless.

But despite both Laf and John’s insistence that he and Thomas should talk, he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that it was a bad idea. He didn’t have any excuses and he knew that Thomas would not want to hear them even if he did. He also knew from experience the consequences of trying to force Thomas into a conversation that he wasn’t ready to have.

In the days and weeks after the White House staff Christmas party during Washington’s second term, Thomas had avoided him as though he would drop dead as soon they made eye contact, even after the holidays had ended and they were forced to work in close proximity again. Prior to the party, Alex would have been happy to let Jefferson get on with this but that night he had discovered that being in his close proximity might be something that he didn’t mind after all. This party, during which both he and Thomas were alone and surrounded by couples, had resulted in them both being drunk enough that Washington insisted that they be driven home in one of the secret service cars. One thing had led to another in the back of the car and, much to the bemusement of the secret service agent, Alexander had invited Jefferson to spend the night at his.

Jefferson had hurriedly left the next morning before Alex could get much of a word in, which he later reflected just how keen he must have been to get out of there, and avoided engaging with any of the usual bickering that filled their interactions at work.  
What annoyed Alex the most was that any attempt he made to discuss that night with him seemed to only succeed in scaring him further away. When he had tried to talk to him during their lunch break, Jefferson had responded by taking his lunch break whenever he knew Hamilton would be in a meeting. 

So, eventually Alexander had given in and resigned himself to the fact that he somewhat missed their daily arguments, and it was only then, only once he had given Jefferson some space, that a memo was sent his way that read ‘we should talk’.

The next day, a Sunday, he braced himself to face the quiet that would greet him and returned to his and Thomas’ house, all the while he came up with a game plan. Thomas had asked for space and Alex knew that his only hope of Thomas coming back to him would be if he decided to do so by himself. It was for Thomas to decide where they went from here, Alex at least owed him that. For the meantime, Thomas had said that he would be back and it was all that Alex could do to trust that.

He also knew what he had to do when he returned to work the next day.

In a lot of ways it was just like any other Monday morning. He said good morning to all of his employees as he walked to his office, although many of them still had yet to return from their summer vacations, and thanked his secretary for the morning coffee that waited for him on his desk, who gave a nod and a smile in reply. Although he did not doubt that working at the firm must have been hard work for everyone that he employed he did his best to maintain a pleasant work-environment for all of his staff, and although he knew he could be a demanding boss at times, he worked hard to ensure that no individual member of his staff felt overworked. Much to Thomas’ ill-disguised exasperation, this occasionally required Alexander to pick up some of the slack himself.

He felt a lurch in his stomach at the thought of Thomas. He took a moment to steel himself before he composed an email to Maria Reynolds requesting her to visit his office at her earliest convenience. They had been working a case together over the past few weeks so this in itself was not an unusual request. 

When she arrived nearly an hour later, she spoke as soon as the door closed behind her and before Hamilton could get a word in.

“I didn’t realise you were in a relationship.”

Hamilton blinked but then realised she had not been at the firm long enough to attend one of the functions that were the extent of Thomas’ limited involvement in his career, and therefore would never have had reason to have met him. He supposed she had simply never processed the framed photographs of them both, amongst the many that he had of his friends and the few of his mother that littered his desk and covered his walls. He had hoped to one day add some of a baby and maybe one of a wedding to the collection but now…

He cleared his throat. “There’s been an opening at Burr’s firm, a position higher than the one that you have here. Normally I would hate to aid our competition but, alas, we have no similar room for promotion and you have potential as a lawyer that I would hate to see wasted. If you should approve I would be happy to send along my recommendations, and provide you a reference of course.”

Hamilton watched as her expression turned from shocked to icy. “Is this your way of firing me?”

He swallowed. “We both know it would be… inappropriate for us to continue to work together. But it would be wrong for your career to suffer for what is ultimately my mistake. The last I spoke to Burr he was looking for someone to start as soon as possible, but if this position doesn’t suit you then I can ask around for something more-”

“What about the case-”

He waved his hand with a slight impatience. “I can assign someone else to it. I expect it will be settled out of court and you shouldn’t have to waste your attention on such low-level cases anyway.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” His gaze snapped back to Reynolds’ face from where it had drifted to behind her shoulder and saw that it had become crumpled. She lifted a hand to rub her forehead and collapsed into the chair in front of his desk. “This isn’t… this isn’t how it was supposed to go.”

Hamilton was confused now. “‘Supposed’ to go?” he repeated.

Much to his alarm, this caused her to dissolve into tears. He rushed to her side of the desk, refrained from touching her at the last second and held out a box of tissues instead. She took one and then began to tell the whole tale, about how her husband had landed them both in debt, had told her that her career was going nowhere and that he needed the money.

“The money?”

“From the sexual harassment lawsuit,” she whispered, looking at the opposite wall. “He planned to either blackmail you or-”

Alexander felt a chill wash over him. “I see.”

“I didn’t realise you were in a relationship,” she repeated. “Just because my marriage is-” she cut herself off and shook her head. “It doesn’t mean yours was mine to ruin.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, I did.” He felt his eyes sting and scrunched them closed. _Not now, dammit._ “It was my decision, my mistake.” 

A moment of silence passed before he spoke again. “As it happens,” she looked up at him where he sat behind his desk again. “I know Burr to be an excellent divorce lawyer.”

An exhaustion had settled into his bones by the time he got home that night, something which the suffocating silence of the house seemed only to add to. Usually when he got home from work, Thomas, who was far better at maintaining a healthy work-life balance, would either be busy in the kitchen or already preparing to serve dinner. 

Tonight the lights were off and there was no noise of activity from either the kitchen or the TV. He stood in the kitchen blankly for a few minutes, opened the refrigerator and looked at the groceries Thomas had already bought before he closed it again. He ordered takeout.

He spent the evening watching TV without paying attention and tried his best to ignore the itch to pick up the phone. After a few hours of tossing and turning in the too-empty bed, he picked up Thomas’ pillow, which still smelt of him, and carried it with him downstairs where he curled up on the sofa.

Within a few days the staff at his firm threw Maria an impromptu ‘farewell and good luck’ party in the break group and those who were beginning to return from their vacations marvelled at how quickly she seemed to be moving on. Before Hamilton returned to his office for the rest of the day, he made a brief obligatory appearance during which they shared a short but knowing exchange.

“Good luck with everything,” he said as he shook her hand, not quite looking at her directly.

She forced him to look her in the eye, “Thank you.”

When he heard nothing from Thomas by the end of the first week, Alex began to doubt whether he had chosen the correct approach after all. In just that week without him, Alex had started to realise just how much his life had changed when he started to date Thomas and how much Thomas had become an unremovable part of it. It was only with his absence that he understood the extent to which their lives had become intertwined, like two trees whose roots had become twisted together.

Although he was still as bullheaded as he was when they had first clashed in Washington’s cabinet and had the same feistiness as when they first began to date, Thomas had calmed his argumentative streak just as Alex had soothed his aloofness. It had only been five years but as Alexander now looked back, he felt as though he were decades older than the man he had been when he started to pursue Thomas after that first night, just like he had everything he wanted in life. 

He used to push and push, always writing and fighting for what he knew to be right, and though he still retained that same drive and continued to pour his energy into his work he now yearned for something simpler as well. For the relief of how Thomas was always there to return to at the end of the day, and the feeling of being loved during the evenings they spend together, either on dates or eating the meals Thomas had prepared or when they were curled around each other, uncaring about anything else in the world.

He had thought he was ready to settle, ready to have a child as he had always wanted… but it was only as he sat alone in the kitchen looking at the front door as though Thomas may walk through it at any moment that he realised that he already had. He had been settled for a long time. His relentlessness had stopped him from noticing it in the moment. Was it when Washington’s final term had ended and it was a given that he and Thomas would discuss what to do next in their life? Was it when Thomas had agreed to move to New York with him? It had to have been sometime before they had begun to toy with the idea of having a child. Alexander felt sure that if there had been an exact moment when it had happened, that Thomas would have caught it.

He continued to sleep on the sofa and as the smell of Thomas on the pillow diminished over the week, so too did Alex’s ability to sleep well. It felt as though he spent staring up at the dark ceiling, occasionally illuminated by a passing car, trying not to start questioning whether Thomas would be back like he promised he would be.

The phone calls started the next week and these, and the fact that it was Thomas who initiated them, gave him a tentative hope. He had expected it to be either John or Laf, who had been checking in on him periodically, and his hands shook when he saw Thomas’ caller ID pop up instead, the picture that Alex had sneakily taken on Christmas Day of Thomas wearing a Santa hat on display across the screen.

He had been even more thrown off when he cut Alex off before the words could even start tumbling from his mouth, not to shout at him or to even tell him that he would not be returning as had been Alexander’s first thought when he picked up the phone, but to ask how Alex had been doing.

Thomas’ insistence on making sure that he had been eating properly and not working too hard, even after everything, almost made Alex cry. He didn’t deserve him.

He dodged the question about his eating, thinking of the fridge full of food that he had mostly left to go out of date and hadn’t thought to replace yet. Instead, he assured him that Laf and John had been making sure he didn’t spend all of his hours either at work or at home, alone.

When the call ended he cursed himself for not asking after Thomas in return and tried to comfort himself in how Thomas had been quick to wrap up the call, seemingly satisfied that Alex had been looking after himself, and had barely given Alex time to.

But the call gave him something to focus on, some additional steps to his plan of giving Thomas space. He decided that while he was… away, Alex would finally start to work normal hours like Thomas had asked him to start doing so many times that he eventually gave up. It was a hard adjustment but gradually, and with the slightly too enthusiastic support of his secretary who had taken to threatening to lock him in his office if he didn’t leave on time, he found himself arriving home most nights while the sun was still up. 

The thought that he would eventually be returning to a home that had Thomas in it kept him going.

Week by week the phone calls became a bit longer. Alex got better at returning the questions, asked whether he had had any migraines recently and how Madison was. He told Thomas how Maria had moved on, how he had helped her to do so, and although he was scarce on the details, Thomas seemed to be reassured by it nonetheless. He had to bite his lip each time to stop himself asking the one question he needed the answer to most. He made do with simply telling Thomas how much he loved and missed him instead.

 _“I miss you, too,”_ he eventually started to whisper back just before he would end the call.

For the first month that was enough. The phone calls served as a gentle reminder that Thomas was not completely gone from his life, and while Alex had latched on to. In the beginning that, and the everlasting presence of his friends, was enough to keep him going.

But then one day, at the beginning of the second month, it was as though all the energy that he had been using to keep looking forward and to keep working towards becoming a better partner, one who Thomas deserved, had been sapped from his body. He stared at the wall for what felt like a long time and tried to make sense of how the idea of going to work, which had once given him a purpose, felt as though it may crush him.

When he did finally make it to work later that day, he had taken one look at his office at the end of the hall before he turned on his heel and walked back the way he came.

His friends were just as startled at the news that he was taking a period of absence from work as he thought he would be and they took it as a signal to double down on their efforts to keep him busy. Sandwiched between them both on John’s sofa as they watched an endless stream of trashy movies, like they did when they were in college, made him thankful to have them all over again.

Sometimes, during the hours that he ordinarily would have spent at work, he found himself spending hours in the garden that Thomas once took responsibility for tending, or walking what must have been the length of the city, and appreciating the quiet in a way that he hadn’t before.

“You know,” he said as he ran his tongue over his chapped lips during that week’s call. “Now that Jay is holding the fort for me at the firm, at least for a little while, I can join you in Monticello. If you wanted,” he added hastily. He had never been to Monticello and had never given it much thought, but now he felt a pang of regret whenever he thought back to how Thomas would suggest the idea before ultimately often travelling there alone. He tried to ignore the part of him that told him he may now never see it.

The moment that Thomas took before he answered seemed to stretch into an eternity. Alex heard him sigh softly. _“Not just now, Alexander.”_

“Another time then, maybe?” he replied, his tone betraying a desperation that he didn’t intend to let slip.

A dry chuckle was his response. _“Aren’t I usually the one to say that?”_ Alex felt his chest tighten in a rush of guilt. _“Another time, Alexander,”_ he continued quickly, with a sincerity as though to make Alex disregard what he had said just before.

Alex clenched his eyes shut and nodded, even though he knew Thomas would not see it. He was childishly tempted to ask ‘promise?’ but no. He could not pressure Thomas to return to him but simply trust that he would.

Taking time off from work, on the days he managed to pull himself off of the sofa and then out of the house, proved to be a good opportunity to catch up with the people he may have been neglecting for a while. Alex supposed this was an obvious revelation but, hey, he was managing to make some changes so who could criticise him? Although, sat across from Eliza’s smiling face at lunch one day, he marvelled at how he had never made the most of vacation time before.

“I’m surprised how long it’s been since you’ve given me an update, Alexander!”

“Update?”

“About the adoption! I’m guessing you’ve managed to get your citizenship by now?” The food on Alex’s fork fell back onto his plate. He was very rarely lost for words but now he gaped as he tried to think of what to say. Gradually Eliza’s expectant face turned into one of confusion, and, shrewdly enough, suspicion. “What have I missed?”

He swallowed as he made the split-second decision of whether to tell the truth. “Oh, no, you haven’t missed anything, it’s all going fine. My passport arrived the other day.” He put on a smile that he hoped was convincing. He hadn’t lied so far, even if he didn’t spare his passport a second glance before he shoved it in the kitchen drawer and tried to pretend it wasn’t there. “In fact, I wanted to talk to you about your orphanage as a possibility. It would be wrong to ignore all of those kids practically on our doorstep when we’re looking for our own.”

It was the excitement and joy on Eliza’s face as she began to gush about how ‘wonderful’ that would be and how ‘honoured’ she would be to help them both that made him unable to continue the lie for much longer.

“Alexander, what’s wrong?” she asked, concerned, when he looked away from her sharply and visibly attempted to fight off tears and clenched his fists tight. 

Determined to not make a scene, he took a few breaths to calm himself before he answered. “I lied. It’s not all going fine.” Still not looking at her, he continued, “We’re taking a break. Thomas and I.”

“Oh, _Alex_.” She reached out across the table to clasp her hand around his.

He shook his head. “I don’t even know why I tried to pretend. Talking about children… it feels like a lifetime ago now.”

She rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand before she softly asked, “How long has it been?”

“Nearly two months.” He willed himself to finally look at her again and felt his eyes fill with tears again at the sadness in her dark eyes. “I’m starting to wonder if…” he trailed off, not needing to finish the sentence.

They sat in silence for a few moments. 

Finally she said, “I realise I don’t know much about the situation, Alex, but I doubt that it’s over between the two of you.” He must have looked skeptical because she continued, “You don’t suddenly go from discussing children to discussing nothing at all. And having a child was all you two seemed to talk about whenever I used to see the both of you.”

He considered this before he abruptly asked, “Why did it not work between us?”

She let out a huff and gave a rueful smile. “You know why it didn’t work out between us, Alexander. It was a long time coming, as much as we tried to pretend it wasn’t. Although, I wasn’t expecting you to run to Jefferson’s arms as quickly as you did, or into Jefferson’s arms at all if I’m honest,” Eliza giggled and Alex couldn’t help but smile again.

They said their goodbyes not long after that.

“Love you, Alexander,” she said as they hugged on the sidewalk.

“Love you, Betsey,” he said into her ear after kissing her on the cheek. 

She held his hands and looked up at him once they withdrew. “Speak to me anytime about the orphanage. Whenever the both of you are ready.”

By the time Thomas returned, Alex had truly resigned himself to accept whatever decision Thomas chose to make. Either Thomas would come back, decide that the both of them could still work, or he wouldn’t. However much pain it would cause him to do so, Alex would respect whatever way forward he would choose, even if it was one that didn’t include him in it.

When Thomas did return after two months Alex had no idea that his waiting was about to end. His only clue had been at the end of the final phone call when Thomas had said his ‘I miss you’ before Alex could say his, but that alone would not have been reasonable grounds for a renewed hope.

So when he was awoken from his sleep, on what had become his usual spot on the sofa, by the ghost of fingertips brushing his hair behind his ear in an achingly familiar way and was overcome by a smell of vanilla that had long since disappeared from the pillow he lay on, he could scarcely bring himself to believe it.

Tentatively, he cracked his eyes open and let out a whisper. “Thomas?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it and think it was a good follow up!! Like I said, I put a lot of effort into this one so plz let me know what you think, any comment makes my day. 
> 
> I'm kind of new to writing fanfic so if this is well received I'll consider writing more!


End file.
